it's the desire to set one's self from the crowd, or to fit in with an already existing group, the problems then arise from a person's motivation for creating the us and them differentiations.

And though some geographic and demographic situations exacerbate this condition, that it comes about in children really starts at home.

I will, for a moment, get on my high horse and claim that my children don't see race right now, because we've taught them not to. People are people. Let them make asses of themselves on their own merits.

And

I play in a band. 41 years old, and still playing in a rock and roll band. I like that. There's something about playing music that makes me feel alive, that allows me to stay in touch with my emotions, those things deep down inside that are at the root of my motivations. Well, at the end of practice tonight we got into a discussion about different places, and people, and politics, and I made the statement about how Massachusetts is actually the most liberal state in the Union. The California natives I was talking to were incredulous. The guy whose band I play in made a sweeping comment, "Massachusetts is racist," as if this was a retort for debunking Massachusetts' liberal moniker.

Well, having moved to California from Massachusetts only two years ago, and having lived in Massachusetts for most of my adult life until this time, I got very defensive. That was a silly reaction, I know, but...well I'll get to that in a moment.

I went on a tear that basically laid out the observations I've had regarding the racially cultural differences between the Northeast and Northern California. On the surface Northern California is far more diverse than the Northeast. I would argue, however, that the systemic racial issues exist in both places -- it's just that in the Northeast the self-imposed segregation is more obvious. There are towns in Massachusetts that are WASPy white towns where you will rarely find diversity greater than blondes and brunettes. There are also towns where caucasians are the distinct minority.

Even in a city as cosmopolitan as New York City, you will find one block that is Latino -- cross onto another block and you will find a different racial make up all together.

One of the guys who joined the conversation had what I thought was the most balanced comment, "people like to stay with their comfort level."

And herein lies what I believe to be the biggest problem with race relations and the discourse around racism today. People are wired to create the differences between us and them...to define the Other.

From Roxbury to Northern Ireland, skin tone to religion, people have a great capacity to differentiate themselves from other people. Whether it's the desire to set one's self from the crowd, or to fit in with an already existing group, the problems then arise from a person's motivation for creating the us and them differentiations.

And though some geographic and demographic situations exacerbate this condition, that it comes about in children really starts at home.

I will, for a moment, get on my high horse and claim that my children don't see race right now, because we've taught them not to. People are people. Let them make asses of themselves on their own merits.

And a

band I play in made a sweeping comment, "Massachusetts is racist," as if this was a retort for debunking Massachusetts' liberal moniker.

Well, having moved to California from Massachusetts only two years ago, and having lived in Massachusetts for most of my adult life until this time, I got very defensive. That was a silly reaction, I know, but...well I'll get to that in a moment.

I went on a tear that basically laid out the observations I've had regarding the racially cultural differences between the Northeast and Northern California. On the surface Northern California is far more diverse than the Northeast. I would argue, however, that the systemic racial issues exist in both places -- it's just that in the Northeast the self-imposed segregation is more obvious. There are towns in Massachusetts that are WASPy white towns where you will rarely find diversity greater than blondes and brunettes. There are also towns where caucasians are the distinct minority.

Even in a city as cosmopolitan as New York City, you will find one block that is Latino -- cross onto another block and you will find a different racial make up all together.

One of the guys who joined the conversation had what I thought was the most balanced comment, "people like to stay with their comfort level."

And herein lies what I believe to be the biggest problem with race relations and the discourse around racism today. People are wired to create the differences between us and them...to define the Other.

From Roxbury to Northern Ireland, skin tone to religion, people have a great capacity to differentiate themselves from other people. Whether it's the desire to set one's self from the crowd, or to fit in with an already existing group, the problems then arise from a person's motivation for creating the us and them differentiations.

And though some geographic and demographic situations exacerbate this condition, that it comes about in children really starts at home.

I will, for a moment, get on my high horse and claim that my children don't see race right now, because we've taught them not to. People are people. Let them make asses of themselves on their own merits.

And

the surface Northern California is far more diverse than the Northeast. I would argue, however, that the systemic racial issues exist in both places -- it's just that in the Northeast the self-imposed segregation is more obvious. There are towns in Massachusetts that are WASPy white towns where you will rarely find diversity greater than blondes and brunettes. There are also towns where caucasians are the distinct minority.

Even in a city as cosmopolitan as New York City, you will find one block that is Latino -- cross onto another block and you will find a different racial make up all together.

One of the guys who joined the conversation had what I thought was the most balanced comment, "people like to stay with their comfort level."

And herein lies what I believe to be the biggest problem with race relations and the discourse around racism today. People are wired to create the differences between us and them...to define the Other.

From Roxbury to Northern Ireland, skin tone to religion, people have a great capacity to differentiate themselves from other people. Whether it's the desire to set one's self from the crowd, or to fit in with an already existing group, the problems then arise from a person's motivation for creating the us and them differentiations.

And though some geographic and demographic situations exacerbate this condition, that it comes about in children really starts at home.

I will, for a moment, get on my high horse and claim that my children don't see race right now, because we've taught them not to. People are people. Let them make asses of themselves on their own merits.

And

ou will find a different racial make up all together.

One of the guys who joined the conversation had what I thought was the most balanced comment, "people like to stay with their comfort level."

And herein lies what I believe to be the biggest problem with race relations and the discourse around racism today. People are wired to create the differences between us and them...to define the Other.

From Roxbury to Northern Ireland, skin tone to religion, people have a great capacity to differentiate themselves from other people. Whether it's the desire to set one's self from the crowd, or to fit in with an already existing group, the problems then arise from a person's motivation for creating the us and them differentiations.

And though some geographic and demographic situations exacerbate this condition, that it comes about in children really starts at home.

I will, for a moment, get on my high horse and claim that my children don't see race right now, because we've taught them not to. People are people. Let them make asses of themselves on their own merits.

And

it's the desire to set one's self from the crowd, or to fit in with an already existing group, the problems then arise from a person's motivation for creating the us and them differentiations.

And though some geographic and demographic situations exacerbate this condition, that it comes about in children really starts at home.

I will, for a moment, get on my high horse and claim that my children don't see race right now, because we've taught them not to. People are people. Let them make asses of themselves on their own merits.

And as I started to say that Massachusetts wasn't a racist state, and as I talked about my time living in Boston, I found myself justifying the quintessentially Northeastern urban phenomena where cities have their distinct regions. Please...you can't tell me that cities don't have this quality.

Now the only reason I'm not including regions outside of the Northeast is that I'm not familiar with other cities. Maybe this happens in other cities too, and just plays into my hypothesis that people just tend to "stay with what is comfortable" as my friend said.

As I calmed my defensive posture I realized I was defending myself, separating myself from being equated with being a racist from Massachusetts. Yes, Massachusetts has a reputation for being racist, and there are reasons for that, regardless of how stereotypical, and patently fair, or unfair they may be. Similarly, however, other regions of the country have equally damning reputations.

For me the question became, "fine, Massachusetts has elements of racism. But tell me what area of the country does not?"

I'm not condoning racism, but when we human beings are able to breed out the inclination to seek same, or like-minded companions within a community, maybe then we'll be able to begin truly honest discourse on racism. There is certainly a lot of talk around racism, but until we can stop everyone's instinct to create Us and Them and the Other, or at least accept that instinct as true and real, then and only then can we start to really address the causes of racism.

This was originally published at bentspoon.net