re are some things that can help.

Make the First Move

Extend an olive branch. People often wait for others to make the first move. Pride often gets in the way. Vera was estranged from her son. They hadn’t spoken in years. When she turned sixty, she called him and suggested meeting for coffee. They met. One brief visit turned into another and another. Over time, they found that, whatever the past problems had been, they could be put behind them.

Trust is essential. You can’t run a business without it. Customers leave. Risk taking evaporates. You find yourself surrounded by naysayers – or worse – yes men and women. No one dares tell the truth. Departments put up barricades creating fortresses inside your castle.

The Warning Signs

Employees Leave. When turnover is higher than the industry average, it could be a sign that people lack trust in your organization. While there could be other reasons – low pay, a very attractive job market, better day-to-day benefits such as parenting leave – consider the possibility that mistrust may be the primary reason. By the way, they won’t tell you this during exit interviews. You’ll need to find other ways to get at the truth.

Customers leave. Customers leave when they no longer have confidence in you. Sometimes they leave for price if you are offering a commodity, but too often leaders use that as an excuse when the real reason is right in front of them.

Labor actions. When formal and informal grievances rise, it can be a sign that the normal channels of communication have broken down. People believe the only way to be heard is to meet you in an adversarial manner.

Turf wars. Projects die because no one wants to give in. People act as if they are out for their own self-interests and willing to do so at your expense.

Machiavelli has become your patron saint. Hallway conversations are all about ways to get around the system or get even.

Trust is difficult to build and easy to destroy.

If I want to build a relationship just so I can get something, people may go along if they see that it is in their interests as well. But without trust, people may be willing to sink the ship rather than giving you anything you want. Knowing that there is no foolproof approach, here are some things that can help.

Make the First Move

Extend an olive branch. People often wait for others to make the first move. Pride often gets in the way. Vera was estranged from her son. They hadn’t spoken in years. When she turned sixty, she called him and suggested meeting for coffee. They met. One brief visit turned into another and another. Over time, they found that, whatever the past problems had been, they could be put behind them.

other reasons – low pay, a very attractive job market, better day-to-day benefits such as parenting leave – consider the possibility that mistrust may be the primary reason. By the way, they won’t tell you this during exit interviews. You’ll need to find other ways to get at the truth.

Customers leave. Customers leave when they no longer have confidence in you. Sometimes they leave for price if you are offering a commodity, but too often leaders use that as an excuse when the real reason is right in front of them.

Labor actions. When formal and informal grievances rise, it can be a sign that the normal channels of communication have broken down. People believe the only way to be heard is to meet you in an adversarial manner.

Turf wars. Projects die because no one wants to give in. People act as if they are out for their own self-interests and willing to do so at your expense.

Machiavelli has become your patron saint. Hallway conversations are all about ways to get around the system or get even.

Trust is difficult to build and easy to destroy.

If I want to build a relationship just so I can get something, people may go along if they see that it is in their interests as well. But without trust, people may be willing to sink the ship rather than giving you anything you want. Knowing that there is no foolproof approach, here are some things that can help.

Make the First Move

Extend an olive branch. People often wait for others to make the first move. Pride often gets in the way. Vera was estranged from her son. They hadn’t spoken in years. When she turned sixty, she called him and suggested meeting for coffee. They met. One brief visit turned into another and another. Over time, they found that, whatever the past problems had been, they could be put behind them.

hat as an excuse when the real reason is right in front of them.

Labor actions. When formal and informal grievances rise, it can be a sign that the normal channels of communication have broken down. People believe the only way to be heard is to meet you in an adversarial manner.

Turf wars. Projects die because no one wants to give in. People act as if they are out for their own self-interests and willing to do so at your expense.

Machiavelli has become your patron saint. Hallway conversations are all about ways to get around the system or get even.

Trust is difficult to build and easy to destroy.

If I want to build a relationship just so I can get something, people may go along if they see that it is in their interests as well. But without trust, people may be willing to sink the ship rather than giving you anything you want. Knowing that there is no foolproof approach, here are some things that can help.

Make the First Move

Extend an olive branch. People often wait for others to make the first move. Pride often gets in the way. Vera was estranged from her son. They hadn’t spoken in years. When she turned sixty, she called him and suggested meeting for coffee. They met. One brief visit turned into another and another. Over time, they found that, whatever the past problems had been, they could be put behind them.

>Machiavelli has become your patron saint. Hallway conversations are all about ways to get around the system or get even.

Trust is difficult to build and easy to destroy.

If I want to build a relationship just so I can get something, people may go along if they see that it is in their interests as well. But without trust, people may be willing to sink the ship rather than giving you anything you want. Knowing that there is no foolproof approach, here are some things that can help.

Make the First Move

Extend an olive branch. People often wait for others to make the first move. Pride often gets in the way. Vera was estranged from her son. They hadn’t spoken in years. When she turned sixty, she called him and suggested meeting for coffee. They met. One brief visit turned into another and another. Over time, they found that, whatever the past problems had been, they could be put behind them.

re are some things that can help.

Make the First Move

Extend an olive branch. People often wait for others to make the first move. Pride often gets in the way. Vera was estranged from her son. They hadn’t spoken in years. When she turned sixty, she called him and suggested meeting for coffee. They met. One brief visit turned into another and another. Over time, they found that, whatever the past problems had been, they could be put behind them. Today, their relationship is pretty strong. And Vera gets to be a doting grandmother. It is the small first steps that get things started.

Find Common Concerns

John Sweeney, head of the AFL-CIO, would meet with corporate leaders to look at common concerns. These meetings had nothing to do with any ongoing negotiations. They were simply an opportunity to discuss issues of interest to both parties. Those meetings were significantly different from traditional antagonistic relationships between management and labor. His gesture is only a small step and that’s its beauty.

Keep Commitments

People liked Brad, but didn’t respect him. He didn’t seem to be serious about his job. They couldn’t trust him. He made a significant change in his behavior. He began to keep his word. If he made a promise to do something, he did it. And he was careful to make only promises he knew he could keep. Over the course of about six months, people’s perception of him changed. They started asking him to take part in key assignments. Brad never saw himself as unreliable, but he realized that others viewed him that way — and that those perceptions were all that mattered if he wanted to increase his influence. Similarly, acting consistently in ways that appear worthy of trust makes a difference.

Mea Culpa

Sincerely accepting responsibility for our actions can be a powerful force. Our own fears about losing face or power or control often get in the way of even seeing that we are part of the problem. By taking responsibility you are creating a shift in the relationship. Even if the other person does nothing different in that moment, your mea culpa has shaken up the status quo.

Forgive Them

After the fall of apartheid, few would have argued against blacks seeking justice and retribution. But leaders